The Air Down There

Not THERE, you perv! (gosh, you all are just too much. Go watch some Care Bears to clear your dirty mind...not the Smurfs though. That WHOLE village of men and one woman? That is porn-tastic).

The ankle break is stable. The orthopedist didn't see the bone fragment that was very apparent on the other X-ray. No plaster cast or surgery (insert happy dance here...since I can't actually dance right now). I have to stay off it for a total of six weeks but I am going to move from this robo-boot (which has a pump to stabalize the ankle)  that I'm wearing to an air cast.

The vain fucker in me is happy with the air cast though. I can wear shoes again. Not my Fleuvogs, but I can at least get my Docs on, even my tall boots.

Chicken...

Right before I broke my ankle (fibula), I found an old pair of gray Doc Martens that I bought at Ross eons ago. I needed a pair of good, thick shoes because David and I were headed to Colorado so he could meet my folks and so I could ski. I only owned cute Mary Janes or loafers, but what else do you need when you live in Florida? I needed boots for the snow. With enough pairs of socks, the Doc Martens fit fine. But, I haven't worn them since we moved from Orlando (I've been in Oregon for 4 years) so I tried them on.

They are way too big.

Seriously.

Then I tried on my other pair of Docs. Also too big. I have a terrible habit of generally buying my shoes too large, I don't know why. My Fleuvogs fit like a dream, but I'm convinved one of the reasons I love them so much is because they actually fit me and I had someone else helping me with the size. So, I'll use my ill-fitting Docs while I have the air-cast, since I'll need the room. Once the ankle is healed - I get to wear cute shoes again!

Now, back to the break. One thing I've learned with these two broken bones is that - Googling injuries is the WORST thing to do for your sanity. The internet has turned me into a worrywart. What if I get arthritis in my ankle? Why are my toes swelling? What if I hit my leg while in the boot? Has the break become unstable?

Am I going to have to get my foot amputated?

This is not what one would call a logical progression. Nope. However, I did read about the need for me to take more calcium (As a woman of a certain age, I should be taking it anyway) and Vitamin D. My ankle will take a long time to heal after the bone is stable, and swelling is normal.

And more importantly, a lot of people have had this kind of break. It won't kill me. But it is making me crazy.

When I was 23 I was diagnosed with Manic Depression. I've been off and on meds throughout my twenties and thirties, but my first headshrinker told me that the best therapy for any mental illness is excercise. Since I can't skate right now, I'm going a little mad. For most people, they want to get back to the skating because of the cameraderie or the sport itself. I love both of those - but roller derby made me sane - saner than I've been in a long time. It gave me purpose, drive, and a healthy dose of humility. I quieted the demons in my brain, and let me be me. The demons have returned.

They are fucking annoying.

Any cardio will quiet the darkness in my brain, but I'm relegated to running around in Skyrim rather than skating around the track. That's not to say I don't love the snot out of Skyrim, but I feel a little silly when my character (a level 31 Kjaiit theif, thank you very much) gets winded. I can't tell you the last time I was winded. Maybe I need to go faster on my Wheels of Doom (knee scooter). Then again, I think I'm done breaking bones for the year....

So let's hear it for pretty shoes!